


My life, in your pocket.

by Squidbitch



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 00:07:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15569352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidbitch/pseuds/Squidbitch
Summary: Juno's apartment is a mess.





	My life, in your pocket.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wastrelwoods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastrelwoods/gifts).



> I'm gifting this to @wastrelwoods because they've taught me a lot about gender and validation for the trans feminine community without ever talking to me directly. This story doesn't really have anything to do with Amy of that, but fuck it, y know? Thank you for that.

Juno's apartment is a mess. That much is obvious. He knows that when he first steps in the living room and sees case files strung across the floor an hour before Juno walks though the door.

 

There aren't very many dishes in the sink, but a hell of a lot of alcohol bottles on the counters. His bed looks as though it hasn't been clean in years, and it's probably not been made in more. Clothes are all over his bedroom floor, on the couch, everywhere.

 

So while Juno is on a case in which he'll be away from home for about two days, Peter decides to clean it up for him.

 

It takes him very long. He's only one man after all. First he throws out all the garbage that's accumulated, then puts all the clothes in Juno-their, he giggles at the thought-room. He makes the bed, folds the clothes, stacks the paper.

 

He reaches under the bed to get some hard to reach places, when he finds something. It's an old tablet. Small and obviously cheap. There are several cracks in it, and looks as though it is only used to be a camera. Theres a sticky note on it that reads, " _Don't forget",_ He wipes the gathering dust away from it. His fingers glide across the screen, and it comes to life.

 

His heart starts pounding.

 

He's completely forgotten the trash bag a few feet away as he sits on the newly made bed.

 

The gallery is right there. His finger is so close to it, and he's _so curious._

 

He calls Juno. He picks up on the third ring, and he whispers. "What is it, Nureyev?"

 

"I've found a tablet, and I was wondering if-"

 

"The one from under my bed?!" Juno asks. He can hear the rummaging of papers.

 

"Yes." No use in denying it. "I was wondering if you would be put out if I looked through it.  If I can't, that's okay."

 

"Christ." Juno says. He's quiet for a long time.

 

"... Juno?" He knows it's a lot to ask. He knows that, and Juno would do most anything for Peter, but he wants to do this.

 

He can hear him swallowing after a stretch of silence. "You know what? Go ahead. It's just some ancient ass pictures and videos. Besides, we don't keep secrets, do we?"

 

Peter wants to argue. He wants to say that Juno doesn't have to let him. But he also desperately, ambitiously, needs to know. "Are you sure?"

 

"No." Juno says immediately. "But I want you to see it anyways."

 

"Thank you, love."

 

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."

 

He very carefully thinks. Part of him doesn't even want to know, if Juno's so nervous about it. But another, bigger part _needs_ to know.

 

Peter taps on the first one, and he it. The first one is a video.

 

Two people, looking about fifteen years old.  They're exactly the same except different scars in different places.

 

It's Juno as a teenager, and his brother. Ben.

 

The one on the left takes the other's hands, and looks down at their feet. "Do it like this, Juno. 1,2,3." He makes steps, and Juno follows hesitantly.

 

"C'mon, Jay. Loosen up a little." Someone say from behind the camera.

 

Juno takes his advice, but mutters a small, "shut _up,_ Mick."

 

Ben nods his head to the music, and starts smiling as he starts to get the hang of it. "There you go! You learn quick. A few decades, and maybe you'll be as good as me! Hands on my neck. There you go."

 

They continue like that for a while. "Alanna Is gonna be so impressed with you at the dance." Mick comments, and Juno looks more confident.

 

Then there's the sound of an opening door.

 

The two children look at each other with fear in their eyes.

 

"Boys?!" A woman yells. "If you're here you better-"

 

Peter doesn't hear the next part because he just hears the scrambling of the three kids gathering their stuff, and climbing out the window.

 

The recording stops. He tries not to dwell on it.

 

He swipes, and there's a picture. Juno, his brother and two other kids it's Juno and the two others arguing while Ben is taking a picture of it with himself there. Grinning like this bickering was something common.

 

There were dozens of pictures of the four of them together. One where they were making silly faces. One of their scuffed up shoes dangling from a high building

 

Then there was one of Juno and Ben with their mother. They're both smiling their identical smiles, while Sarah Steel kisses the top of Ben's head.

 

There was another video where Ben was looking at the camera, presumable at Mick with a dramatic face, and saying, "My name is Juno and I'm in loooove with Jacob."

 

Juno comes into the frame, blushing hard, pushing his brother. "He's the one who kissed me!" They start to tussle on the floor, Mick laughing and watching.

 

Peter helps himself to a small smile. This is pretty adorable. He continues to watch them, and it makes Peter happy that Juno allows himself some nostalgia. He probably also keeps it because he likes seeing his brother.

 

He sees another picture that definitely breaks that thought off. Its Juno, looking a bit older. He has a catheter around his arm, and a needle in his vein. A kid that Peter's never seen before is sitting next to him, grinning. The scene makes him sick to his stomach.

 

"The first time Juno Steel shoots up. You better get a good shot of this, Meg. He's gonna wanna remember this forever. First taste of heaven, baby."

 

Juno laughs, and squeezes the end of the syringe into his arm. He grits his teeth, and the takes the catheter off, before tending to the wound.

 

The kid kisses Juno on the lips. A small part-an irrational, stupid part-feels jealousy in his chest like a lead ball.

 

The recording stops, and he swipes to the next one. It's a picture of a grave. Benzaiten Steel's grave. Flowers next to it, and Juno's hand on the stone.

 

Peter looks at it for a long time, memorizing the hand smaller than Juno's current one. The flowers. He can feel the heartache in his chest.

 

Suddenly Peter feels wrong doing this. He shouldn't have even asked. Juno's past is _his_ _._ It's not right for Peter to look through this. There are many more pictures and videos. Enough to tell the story of Juno's life.

But if he wants to learn about Juno's life, then he should hear it from him. Not the way it looked in a photo.

* * *

 

When Juno gets home, Peter tells him that he stopped looking midway through.

 

"But why? If you just saw it, then I wouldn't have to tell you everything. You would already know."

 

Peter mulls it over. Spreads it in his headspace like gum on the roof of your mouth. 

"It didn't feel right. If I know about your life I want it to be from you. From your perspective." He thinks back to the grainy footage they must still have back on Brahma. "A picture doesn't tell the story."

 

Juno looks up at him. He hesitates. He's guarded and uncertain, even this far into their relationship. "Are you.. Sure?"

 

His voice breaks in the way Peter so loves, and he kisses his forehead. "Your story is _your story._ And I'd love to hear it from you." He takes his hands. "I'd love to see the rest of it. But only with you."

They're quiet again for a long time. It isn't awkward, just comfortable. Juno smirks and looks at the state of his home. "What the hell did you do to my apartment? "

The have banter to focus on now, and Peter indulges him. 

Juno will talk to him. But only if he's ready. 

**Author's Note:**

> Also my Tumblr is atraumariddenhoe for anyone who wants it, good night lovelies.


End file.
